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There's no morning without mourning
سهشنبه 2 آبانماه سال 1391 23:59
I got lonely more than ever. I got divorced. My marriage is over and I am alone. So, here it is… me and my simple life, me and my loneliness again. But this time it’s quite different. I maybe alone but I don’t feel lonely. As a matter of fact, I am happy and proud. I feel so innocent; like a little child. I have done...
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countless gifts from you
چهارشنبه 8 شهریورماه سال 1391 02:00
My dearest Lord I wish you could come down to earth to be right on my side. People are so bad here, they hurt me so badly. Why is it that no one understands me? why is it that the people who say love me most hurt me worst? Was I born in the wrong time wrong place??? I wish you could come down to be right beside me to...
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A short prayer
جمعه 13 مردادماه سال 1391 17:08
My dear Lord, I do believe what ever you want me to have is the best thing ever. I do believe who ever you want me to be with is the best person ever. I do believe where ever you want me to be in is the best place ever. My dear Lord, Please give me what you want me to have which is surely the best thing for me. Please...
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Over and over again
جمعه 2 تیرماه سال 1391 02:12
Just one more day left to my 27 th birthday... giving up my prayers; giving up my chastity and my innocence. One more time I touch my vein, and the question remains: do I cut or leave I made a mistake again... and again I hate myself for it... I feel lonely again... and again I blame myself for it... I feel desperate...
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a ray of hope
دوشنبه 7 فروردینماه سال 1391 01:55
My dear lover Lord With your help and blessings I have totally recovered from my severe mental breakdown and depression. I don’t want to kill myself anymore. Those days are gone; the days I felt hatred for hubby, mom, stepdady or even myself. The days that I hated everyone except Yasmin are gone for good. The days...
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dead line
پنجشنبه 26 آبانماه سال 1390 00:18
Oh sea... how i miss ur shore...how badly i miss ur waves I wish i was there with you...i wish i was drowned in ur arms...i wish i could taste the sweetness of death when my lips touched urs I miss the last time i was there with u...i was such a coward that i didnt give myself to u Indeed i was a coward U were a way...
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my restless soul
یکشنبه 26 تیرماه سال 1390 01:04
Dear Lord, I feel so lonely. I need your help; I need your love to be saved or I'll go straight to Hell. It's so hard to resist the temptations. My sever loneliness is becoming a nightmare for me. Set me free of this pain, of this loneliness, of my crazy thoughts. I'm fighting so hard with me. I don’t want to do some...
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a beautiful poem by a colleague
پنجشنبه 16 تیرماه سال 1390 12:52
Celestial Gift The peerless emotion In high speed and motion Switch voyage from sight Then it gets to the ocean Toward the heart it departs Penetrates Veins and Arts To every inch it drives Get residence in the heart Acting like a conjunction Merging the Two, its function The Lover and Beloved Getting allied on...
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a short letter to my father
پنجشنبه 26 خردادماه سال 1390 01:13
My dearest father, It's the father's day tomorrow…as other girls are happy buying gifts for their fathers, I'm mournful for your loss as if I've lost you yesterday. I wish I could have bought you a gift. I wish I could have hugged and kissed you and told you "happy father's day to the best father in the whole...
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My childhood love
جمعه 20 خردادماه سال 1390 00:09
Last Friday there was a get together at my granny's house (from my mom's side) because my uncle came from Rasht to spend the three-day- holiday in his home town. You know, it's so good to have lots of relatives and to spend some time with them. It really feels good to think that what ever or in any position you are,...
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That was very professional of me
شنبه 14 خردادماه سال 1390 02:22
On Monday, the day of unpleasant incident : I couldn’t take my mind off of what happened. That very day I was all confused. The whole day I kept asking myself "why? Why me? What wrong have I done that they thought they could say such a thing to me? How am I going to go to that class or even other classes? Is this...
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what's worse than being insulted
دوشنبه 9 خردادماه سال 1390 17:59
I woke up at about a quarter to 9. I washed my face thinking that "it's just another great day". Yasamin and I had breakfast, got dressed and got into the car. I drove her to the kindergarten and I headed ILI thinking "it's just another great day". I parked the car, ran to ILI because I didn’t want...
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smarty little baby
یکشنبه 8 خردادماه سال 1390 11:19
A scene from my piano class: My piano teacher: you are doing good… comparing to last year, you are progressing very well. Me: really? Thanks. My piano teacher: Has anyone ever told you that you are so smart ? Me: oh yeah, my father mentioned it in his will… Shoooooooooooooot!! Was it the best answer I could have ever...
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you think of a title for this one
یکشنبه 1 خردادماه سال 1390 14:48
I'm very sick. I have a killing sore throat and a fever and my whole body hurts. Normally people sleep a lot when they are sick. But I can't sleep, my back hurts badly so I feel I get worse if I lie down. He keeps calling and texting; bothering me to death. I'd never thought I would hate him so much. I used to jump to...
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happy teacher's day
سهشنبه 20 اردیبهشتماه سال 1390 08:01
It was teacher's week. So, though late, I just stopped by to say happy teacher's day to all of my colleagues in the world. And that I hope and wish them the best, including the most salary and job security they can ever think of! During the last week I'd thought about something funny and embarrassing that happened or...
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life changes
سهشنبه 6 اردیبهشتماه سال 1390 00:24
It's been a year and a month and half since I sent the last post. I remember those days very well. The days of sorrows and disappointments, the days of hatred I felt for my job, the days of frustrations and stagnation, and the days that I was still mourning for the loss of my father. I remember them very well. I...
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no title
جمعه 7 اسفندماه سال 1388 01:49
Its yasamin's second birthday tomorrow. And I'm aging. I'm a simple 24 year old mother. I'm nothing. Or maybe I'm just a simple English teacher at some institutes with no remarkable salary which I receive at the end of the term. I'm disappointed. It's not what I wanted of me to be. It's not what I wanted for me. I'm...
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some body's me
سهشنبه 15 دیماه سال 1388 03:50
Hello, are you there? If you are, can you hear me? If you can, do you remember me as much as I remember you? I hope not! Because I don’t remember anything about you. Do you ever think about me the way I think about you? I hope so. Do you miss me as much as I miss you? I really hope so. Do you hate this distance...
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a walk to remember
جمعه 1 آبانماه سال 1388 15:57
I've just finished reading my web log from the very first post to the very last one. It was like reviewing three years of my life. It was like that I reviewed all the good and bad things that I had had for three years; my happiness and sorrows, my tears and smiles. I remember all those days; the days that I used to...
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latest on piano
یکشنبه 29 شهریورماه سال 1388 05:00
Hubby got me a piano exactly two weeks ago. You can't imagine the joy I felt when I first played my piano. I'm very thankful to him for understanding how much I needed to have it. And he seems to be content with what he has done. Beside, I've just discovered that he has always liked playing the piano!! Mommy, on the...
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feeling rejected
سهشنبه 10 شهریورماه سال 1388 16:58
A scene from our bedroom: Hubby and I were locating my new desk… Hubby: hey don’t push it! You're gonna break it! It's not very strong, you know?! Me: well, how would I know? Hubby: well, you could have used your brain!! Me: excuse me ??? Hubby: you heard me! Me: I'm sorry that I'm not as perfect as you are! Hubby: no...
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piano
یکشنبه 1 شهریورماه سال 1388 02:15
#I've got almost busy days, but still I think I'm not doing anything special!! Why is that so ?? Why I feel like my life is being wasted away and that I'm not seizing my days??? #I'm going to a piano class. It's on Tuesdays morning at 11. It takes about half an hour for the cost of 5000 Tomans for each session....
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my failure
پنجشنبه 29 مردادماه سال 1388 00:37
I cried last night, I cried from the bottom of my heart. It’s been so long that I wanted to cry. It’s been such a long time that I wanted to shed tears upon my sorrows. But every time, I'd tried so hard to refrain all those emotions. I'd tried not to release them. I had tried so hard not to let any tears roll down my...
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happy mother's day
سهشنبه 4 تیرماه سال 1387 03:42
It was my birthday yesterday. And it’s the mother’s day today. So I’m a 23-year-old mother who deserves to be said: “happy mother’s day God, I’m exhausted. My baby is four months another 3 days, and I feel like I’ve been bringing her up all my life. My goodness, it is terribly hard to bring up a baby. But all the...
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and you were born in pain
چهارشنبه 11 اردیبهشتماه سال 1387 17:28
You are two months and four days now I hold you in my arms…I hold you so tight trying to believe that you are all mine You cry…I hold you again and you stop crying…I feel so good…yes, surely you are mine You are hungry…and I hold you again and I feed you…you feel good and I feel good, indeed you are mine Two months...
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hope to hold you soon
پنجشنبه 25 بهمنماه سال 1386 02:58
It's 2 am… Not feeling sleepy… Yasamin Zahra is kicking, stretching, and turning in her little room. She hasn’t decided to come yet! And I'm waiting and waiting…. My due time is this coming Sunday but the doctor says if it doesn’t happen, we can wait for another one week. God, I don’t wanna wait any longer. The last 8...
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a precious gift
دوشنبه 1 بهمنماه سال 1386 03:18
Day by day I'm getting closer and closer to a new chapter of my life, to the best part of my book, the chapter of motherhood! Who could have ever thought I could be a mom too?!! A lonely girl who always wanted to cross the longest roads of never-reached dreams, is now a mother, or better say a mother-to-be. How can...
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Back with a lot of little things to say
یکشنبه 20 خردادماه سال 1386 01:24
o1-Woooooooooooooow, my goodness, guess who visited my blog?? Oh come on, take a wild guess. I'm waiting …ok, I knew you were not good at guessing . Then you can have a wild look at my comment box in the previous entry… isn’t just sooooo wooooow ? I can not believe it. Kamran Najafzadeh , the top reporter of Iran has...
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stoped by to let you know
پنجشنبه 10 خردادماه سال 1386 03:26
Hello everyone, Remember my friend's trip to Kish and me how being left behind and that whose fault it was? And also remember my friend's wedding which I was invited to and that what happened that very night???? Well, the story still goes on and hubby has been such a freak ad we have been fighting every day and night...
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i was not allowed
جمعه 28 اردیبهشتماه سال 1386 23:21
May 17 th , Thursday, 11 pm: I'm still at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't tell you how I hate hubby now!! I hate him with all my heart!! You see, it's men's nature è you give yourself to him with all your heart and he thinks once he wins you , you are his poppet that can be moved around easily, you are his, your destiny...