It was teacher's week. So, though late, I just stopped by to say happy teacher's day to all of my colleagues in the world. And that I hope and
wish them the best, including the most salary and job security they can ever think of!
During the last week I'd thought about something funny and embarrassing that happened or better say I did years ago.
I thought it might not be bad to share it with you. So here it is:
It was years ago and I was just a student at ILI. My English wasn’t so good, I could hardly speak fluently. I remember how hard I used to
improve my English especially by watching movies like a hundred times each and I wouldn't let it go and go for a new one unless I got sure I didn’t
leave anything out. Therefore, I used to take notes during the movies, and would look up the new words and phrases in the dictionary.
There was a movie starring Jim Carry, named Me, Myself, and a female name I don’t recall. I need to confess that it wasn’t the best one that was
ever made on the planet and that I was unlucky enough to watch. I have to admit that the dialogues in the movie were filled with slang mostly four
letter words (though at that time I didn’t really know any four letter words)
so no wonder it was severely censored.
I looked up all the words as much as I could. But there was a word that
made me really confused since I couldn’t find it in an English-Farsi dictionary and the meaning I got for it in the English-English one was:
"an offensive word used to insult sb, especially a man, and to show anger"; obviously not clear enough for me to understand. Not to forget
that I was such a lazy bone that I didn’t check the words "offensive" and "insult" so that I at least get the idea that its not a good word.
Unfortunately the characters kept saying it over and over again so it became like a big question for me.
So I said" ok, why not asking my teacher at ILI". And guess what; fortunately or unfortunately, Master was my teacher that term.
The day arrived; it was the break time so I boldly asked:
Me: may I ask a question?
Master: yes.
Me: what's the meaning of ************? (Not my best question, I know)
Master: (staring at me with eyes wide open and asking himself: is she for real???!!) I don’t know!! I really don’t know!!
Me: (looking as stupid as I could) I heard it in a movie and the characters kept saying ************ (I can't
believe I said it again) and I couldn’t find it in the dictionary, so I was wondering…
Master: (still in doubt for my reality) I don’t know!
Me: ok. (With despair)
There was a short silence that Master dared to break:
Master: Some words are not just worth saying them, you know. There was a student who said a bad word and I sent him to wash
his mouth and he really did so. If I were you, I would never say that word again and I would go wash my mouth. (he said it so gently not to give me
any bad feelings)
Me: sure. (A little confused)
You can't believe how embarrassed I was when I really found out what it meant.
It's interesting how surprisingly what you did in life boomerangs on you since a couple of months ago, a student asked me the meaning of a word
like that at ILI, too. Immediately thinking of Master and that day I answered: I don’t know!! And I thought of the important role of teachers
and of how they act or react in different occasions. With our different attitudes we might teach them a lesson and somehow change their life in a
good way or we might have a bad affect on them and change their outlook of teachers in a bad way. What I asked Master was provocative
enough to send me to the principal's office or to give a red mark or at least a frown or a kind of facial expression to show that you didn’t like
what was said, but since he could read from my innocence face that I really didn’t know the meaning, he just reacted and answered my
question in the best way.
So I think I'd better apologize him for unknowingly being so rude and thank him for the lesson he taught me. And I thank all of my teachers for
all they did for me and all they taught me. And I also apologize for any intentional or unintentional misbehavior I ever had.
Happy teacher's week,
Narcis
It's been a year and a month and half since I sent the last post. I remember those days very well. The days of sorrows and disappointments, the days of hatred I felt for my job, the days of frustrations and stagnation, and the days that I was still mourning for the loss of my father. I remember them very well. I remember how I was almost disappointed of God to show me my way. And I also remember how I gave up my piano lessens and the English discussion class I had with Master; I remember how, at nights, I used to cry silently for hours in bed with no good reason till I fell asleep and got up in the morning with puffy eyes. I do remember how broken I was because I wasn’t what I wanted of me. I was so disappointed for I didn’t get what I wanted in life. I remember very well, I remember every minute of those sad and awful days.
I also remember my turning point in life; the day my psychologist said that I was suffering from depression and that it’s my own entire fault. She said it was all because I had big ideals and dreams with little efforts to reach them. So from that day I decided to stop nagging and really do something for me and my life. So, on that day I stopped crying and finally chose my way.
In less than a month I got my driving license which hubby and mommy had pushed me to get it for more than 2 years but failed to make me do so just because I didn’t feel like driving( well, that’s crazy, I know). Now you've gotta see me driving! You may think I'm riding a jet or something!!
Then five month later I got into ILI (Iran Language Institute), with real efforts this time. I tried to be fully concentrated and did the best I could in the entrance exam, the interview and Demo. And it's been three terms that I've been an ILI teacher. And I feel so good about it. As a matter of fact I feel so good about me now. I receive a good monthly salary with job security and all a teacher needs to feel good about her job. I have a very bright future here.
Also, I have started my piano lessons all over again. So ashamed to confess, these sessions are being spent on just remembering what I had learnt before and had forgotten carelessly.
Now after years thinking what I was born to be, I have the answer. I WAS BORN TO BE AN ENGLISH TEACHER!! You may not believe it, but when I'm in my classes I feel like I'm acting on stage. It's like theatre, I have all I want; I have all the attentions and power. Now I know what Master meant when he said theater wasn’t my cup of tea and that a class can be a better place than stage. At that time I wouldn’t believe him, I would think that he is just one of the people who didn’t understand me. Now I see that I was all wrong, because he was exactly the one who realized teaching fit me and my personality best. I'm still wondering how on earth he realized this fact, because at that time I hated teaching, and I had no desire to do so. I thought teaching English was the last thing I would do. I may ask him this one day.
Now I have to say that along with the changes I have made in my life, I have changed, too. And these changes seem to have good effect on me, my self satisfaction and my self confidence. So this is a good end for this chapter of my life. Now, more than ever, I thank God for the best way he showed me. I'm thankful to him for the right path he put me on. And I'm very grateful that he made me owe him this one too.
I wanted to talk about that blank spot and that how it was finally filled, but since this entry is getting a little long, I postpone it to some other time. Well that’s a strange story too. Just wait for it.
It's so late, I've gotta go to bed, I have classes tomorrow.
Promise to not disappear this time.
With a heart full of joy
Narcis