latest on piano

Hubby got me a piano exactly two weeks ago. You can't imagine the joy I felt when I first played my piano. I'm very thankful to him for understanding how much I needed to have it. And he seems to be content with what he has done. Beside, I've just discovered that he has always liked playing the piano!! 

Mommy, on the contrary, thinks we are both crazy. She was first so harsh about it. She even laid an embargo on visiting me. She didn’t hold back even after she realized islamically there is no problem in playing the piano. Now, after two weeks she's got a little easy on that, however, she doesn’t approve it by all means. She thinks I'm fighting with God, my beliefs and with my family's religious status. That’s what I disagree totally.

 What she says or does might show her worries about me. But I think she is worried about her own religious and social status, too. Since she was the wife of a martyred man and is now a theology teacher, her daughter having or playing the piano doesn’t seem to fit with her in some ways. I think she is afraid of what other people might think of her when they see a piano in her daughter's house. She is afraid that people might criticize her for not having brought me up well. Well, I don’t know, may be she is just worried about me, or maybe both of us. Well, even if both of us are her concerns, I don't blame her.

 Personally I don’t care about other people's opinion about me playing the piano. Because I know I'm not doing anything wrong neither socially nor islamically, so why I should be afraid or ashamed of people seeing it in my house. I'm not worried about other people's reaction when they see my piano. Everybody will get used to it so soon. Even mama will get used to it. That’s why her attitudes don't disappoint me. She doesn’t hold me back, either. Who knows maybe one day she tells me that she likes to play the piano! Though I don’t really see that coming, I think some day soon she will put aside this false non-islamic prejudice against my poor piano. And even if she never approves of it from the bottom of her heart, I hope she at least doesn’t try to discourage me with non-islamical prejudicious comments like playing a piano by a martyred man's daughter is like her fighting with God!

Time will solve it, so let it be.

Confident Narcis,

Sep 17th

feeling rejected

A scene from our bedroom:

Hubby and I were locating my new desk…

Hubby: hey don’t push it! You're gonna break it! It's not very strong, you know?!

Me: well, how would I know?

Hubby: well, you could have used your brain!!

Me: excuse me???

Hubby: you heard me!

Me: I'm sorry that I'm not as perfect as you are!

Hubby: no problem!

Me:

I hated what he said to me. He humiliated me; made me feel like a stupid one.

I don’t know what' wrong with him. He's been cold and unfriendly these days. Ergo, we seldom talk. As a matter of fact, I scarcely see him these days. This is all because he is so drowned in his work. Sometimes I hate his job!!! Or maybe I'm just being jealous!!! Am I?? I donno.

Narcis-on bad terms with hubby 

writen a week ago

piano

#I've got almost busy days, but still I think I'm not doing anything special!! Why is that so?? Why I feel like my life is being wasted away and that I'm not seizing my days???

#I'm going to a piano class. It's on Tuesdays morning at 11. It takes about half an hour for the cost of 5000 Tomans for each session. (Doesn’t it sound a little expensive??? I donno) you may not believe it, but this very half an hour makes me go the whole week. Its like I get charged and it lasts for the whole week.

*Its not easy to learn how to play a piano, it needs a lot of practice.

* These fleeting moments of learning how to play my inner melody is the best thing I've ever had.

* It feels wonderful to see one of your childhood top dreams is being fulfilled.

*mom is not content with it. It may not be right to say, but I don’t really care about her opinion concerning this matter. First, because I think I'm grown up enough to decide for myself.  And second, because I believe in what I'm doing, and I know this is what I really want. As a matter of fact, I just care about my own big smile when I go to or leave the piano class. I just care about the energy it gives me. I really don’t care about other people's opinions about me since I know if I'm going to be the best, I have to be ME!

* Special thanks to hubby for giving me support against mama's semi-harsh attitude towards my piano class.

To hubby: although I tell you this very often, but I want it to be written in here tooèèè I love you soooooooooooooo much for millions of reasons! 

The pianist-to-be,

Narcis