Hello, are you there? If you are, can you hear me? If you can, do you remember me as much as I remember you? I hope not! Because I don’t remember anything about you. Do you ever think about me the way I think about you? I hope so. Do you miss me as much as I miss you? I really hope so. Do you hate this distance between your world and mine? I hope you do.
Somebody is here who has always wanted you to be here, she never wanted you to be up there in the heaven. There is somebody who needs you. This somebody wished to know how it felt to have you. There is somebody whose never-come-true childhood dream was to hold her parents’ hands and to swing as they walked. There is somebody who has always been jealous of the girls that had somebody like you. And that some body is ME.
I need you so much, I always have. Thinking that you have never been there and that never will be torments me to death. Why can’t you be here? Sometimes I tell myself that maybe you are still alive, maybe one day you come back to me, may be it was all a big mistake that we thought you were killed in the war… I know it’s a fake hope, but what else I can do. You never come to my dreams, either. It’s very mean of you not to do so, you know. Maybe you are not mean. You might be just very busy; living with so many good people in heaven must have made your life very busy there. Well, now it doesn’t seem to be your fault.
Your not being there has made a big spot in my heart. This empty spot is so deep that can’t be filled with any thing. I’m always thirsty of love and I can never get enough. Hubby can’t fill it, either. Or maybe he doesn’t want to. Because as he says giving me love is like giving salty water to a thirsty person!!
Let me tell you a secret. Come on, come closer, and let me whisper it in your ear: “No body could have ever taken your place in my heart! No body could have ever been you for me”
Always waiting for you in my dreams,
Your daughter,
Narcis.