My childhood love

Last Friday there was a get together at my granny's house (from my mom's side) because my uncle came from Rasht to spend the three-day- holiday in his home town. You know, it's so good to have lots of relatives and to spend some time with them. It really feels good to think that what ever or in any position you are, where ever you live, back there, you have some people who love you and who have been with you from the very first moments of your existence; the people who belong to you and who you belong to them. So, that was just so wow with all of my aunts and cousins and their spouses and their kids. My uncle is a humorous and entertaining sort of person, made us laugh to stitches talking about anything and everything. We had lunch and in the afternoon, my cousins and I had lots of greengages with salt while we teased each other like the way we used to when we were kids; that was so much fun.

In the evening, I was sitting on the porch and watching yasamin playing with my cousins' kids in the yard. And it took me back to years ago, when my aunts were young, and when my uncle was still single, and when my cousins and I were kids.   

Well, at that time, we used to get together a lot, like every weekend for sure. And my cousins and I (girls and boys) used to play in granny's big garden from morning to noon and then from afternoon till night. We used to stay the night over at granny's with bedrooms and the living room full; all kids sleeping in one room, siblings(my aunts and uncle) in another, and the men( aunts' husbands) in the living room.

While the living room was almost quiet with the men snoring there, the bedrooms were restless and noisy; in one of them with the siblings' talks and laughs about old memories and in the other one with the boys teasing girls and with the girls' objections to be teased; the boys from among my childhood love was. 

As I was all drowned in the past memories, he came to me with a smile asking: 

Him: does it remind you of our childhood? 

Me: oh yeah, we had a very happy and special childhood, didn’t we? 

Him: sure we did. I thought you forgot all about it. 

Me: come on, how could I? They were the best days of my life. 

Him: same here. You know, I often think about those days…I wouldn’t play with anyone but you and the other cousins (girls) were so jealous… 

Me: ha ha, that was because I was the only one who could tolerate an irritating and cranky one like you (laughing) 

Him: yes and also because you were so sweet that I couldn’t be with anyone else but you. You still are! 

Me: Wow that was flirty! 

Him: Nooo, come on. I'm serious…You know, when I was a kid I used to think that you and I were gonna…you never know what will happen! 

Me: Our childhood memories are very beautiful and sacred. But, to be frank, I think we weren’t meant to be together. But we are good friends now, right? Just like before. 

Him: yeah, you're right. 

Me: 

Him:  

He was right. As kids, we would always stick together. But when we grew up and reached puberty, I was the one who backed off. Then as he was busy hanging out with his girlfriends, I was all drowned in my own kind of mysticism which was writing letters to Lord and my dad. Years past, I got engaged while he was happy with a girlfriend. 3 years later, I got married and he got engaged with that girlfriend.  I had Yasamin and he broke up with his fiancée. And in the whole time each of us seemed to be happy with the way we had chosen to live. So, I think that was how fate separated us and we never even realized it. And now, I don’t and can't ever feel anything about him other than the feeling I may have for a cousin. And I'm sure it’s the same for him, too.  Because if anything was supposed to happen, it would have happened years ago. Well, although I hate the fact that I didn’t choose hubby (mom did), I know mom made the best choice for me. And even if I was free to choose my husband, to be perfectly honest, I would never fall for my childhood love.  

Narcis