That was very professional of me

On Monday, the day of unpleasant incident: I couldn’t take my mind off of what happened. That very day I was all confused. The whole day I kept asking myself "why? Why me? What wrong have I done that they thought they could say such a thing to me? How am I going to go to that class or even other classes? Is this how they look at me?" I canceled my private class that I had in the evening. I had a very bad headache, I had neither energy nor interest to talk, I couldn’t eat much, and at night, it took me hours to get to sleep. And the fact that I couldn’t talk about it with hubby or anyone else was killing me to death.

On Tuesday: I woke up with a bad headache. Every where I went or looked at, the damn chair and the words were right in front of my eyes. They weren’t getting out of my sight or thought. I had my piano lessens but I couldn’t focus on playing the piano. Even my piano teacher could realize that something was wrong with me. I attended my classes in the afternoon. But I was a wreck. Colleagues asked if I was okay, and I said it was just a bad headache. I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. Again at night, it took me hours to sleep.

On Wednesday:  I woke up with a very bad headache. I felt like my head was about to explode. My heart was beating so fast. I attended my classes in the afternoon. But I was such a mess. I wasn’t able to act; to look happy. My head was so heavy and my mind was full of crazy thoughts. Colleagues realized something was wrong. They asked but I couldn’t say anything wishing I could have. They talked and laughed and I wished I could have, too. But nothing sounded funny to me. Classes were over. Now, I could finally get a chance to talk to a colleague about what happened. I could finally empty myself. She told me that I had to find out the culprit and let him get what he is deserved for and that I had to punish him otherwise the other students would think that they could disrespect their female teachers and easily get away from it.

We talked for less than 20 minutes and after that, it was all me again; calm and comforted. I was relieved. And the amazing point was that it didn’t seem so awful and embarrassing to me anymore. Well, I didn’t do anything wrong, I shouldn’t have been ashamed for something I had no hands on. I could smile again, my headache was gone. And I was determined to find the wrongdoer. 

That night it took an hour to sleep but this time I was planning how to trap the offender.

On Thursday: I woke up with no headache. I was at ILI 15 minutes early and in less than 10 minutes, with an old trick, I found the offender. I called his mother and asked her to be at ILI at eleven thirty. Then I went to the class with a smile. I wasn’t afraid of that chair anymore. I wasn’t weak anymore. I managed the class as naturally as possible. And when the class was over, I told the offender that he wasn’t going anywhere. He knew why. He followed me upstairs and begged me to forgive him. All I said was" stay here, your mom is on her way" he was panicked. I went to teacher's office and waited. And there she was, on time. I invited her in, told the boy to stay out, and I talked to her. I told her what happened and what her son did, and what I got through. I said "I will do your son a favor and I won't tell the principal, because if I do the principal will never let him step into ILI again. I don’t want to ruin his future for this. However, as a punishment, I'm going to fail him this term so that he or any other students at ILI won't have the audacity to offend a female teacher."

She was very embarrassed and apologetic. She said that she was very sorry and that she didn’t know what to say, and left as a couple of colleagues stepped in. They asked what happened and I told them all. It didn’t sound like a hush-hush to me anymore.

Now although more people at my work know about what happened, I'm still not willing to let hubby know. I don’t want him to think that I'm not working in a good place. I will forget all about it in less than a week but he, as a husband, will be worried forever. I don’t want to see worries in his eyes when I'm leaving for work.

My Lord, I'm very thankful to you that I could handle the crisis very well. I'm happy that, with your help, I could act on Monday; that I could pretend I didn’t see those words, and that I could manage the class very well as if nothing happened. I thank you that you helped me control myself in not telling hubby about it. And of course I'm grateful to you for having Ms. Noruzian, the good colleague/ friend, to help me out of it, the one whom my special thanks go to. You know, I forgive that kid for your love and I hope the best for him. But it doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t be punished. Failing him this term will teach him a lesson and this is for the best.

Being proud of me,

Narcis