thursday night

Good Friday morning. I really wanted to send this last night but before I could hit the send bottom my daily account was over

Oh my lord my sins are like the highest mountain and my good deeds are very few. So I turn to you, while my heart is full of shame and my eyes are full of tear. And I beg you to  bestow your forgiveness and mercy upon me. And oh Allah, send your peace and blessings on the final prophet and his family and companions and those who follow him

Since I’ve started writing in my web log, everyday I’ve done my posting early in the morning. But today, It was like the whole world wanted me to write it at night. I’m not sure why but maybe it was meant to be. Maybe Lord wanted me to write It in the night, a Thursday night, so that I can talk about him, al-mahdi al-hujjah. If it is really so, then I think I’m really honored to talk about him, to think of him and to feel his presence with me. They say whenever you think of him it’s actually the moment he thinks of you, looks at you and considers you. Wow even the thought of him looking at me stops my heart for I know I don’t deserve it. It gives me peace and kinda relief which I just can’t get from any thingelse…its soooooo godly. Then let’s pray to Lord for hastening the Relief, the Reappearance of ultimate saviour of mankind, amen

Oh it was a longgg tiresome day with our project. But at least maryam and I have done almost half of our job and that’s a relief. Now I can concentrate more on the novel. By the way, I’ve studied 3 chapters of 5 chapters of literary criticism in the past two days. But the novel is still my greatest worry since it is in 500 pages and it’s embarrassing that I haven’t read more than 10 pages. Any way thank god it has got a simple language and it’s not a classic one otherwise there would be no ray of hope for me to finish it. God, 4 days ago I was a depressed hapless one who didn’t know how manage all those stuff. But now, only 4 days later, I don’t know why but every thing seems so easy to be done. Almost half of the project is done, only 2 chapters of literary criticism are left, and now I have enough time for novel and I have 4 days before the teaching methodology exam during which I can do its term-project. You see narcis how easy things can be done by the help of your kindest Lord. Oh Lord, I really have to thank you for that. Without you, a small difficulty seems to be a terrible storm and it’s terrifying even when it’s far in the horizon. But with you, it’s just a cold breath while I’m sleeping in a hot summer day. Love you Lord

                Narcis with a heart full of His love

                 Dec 28